In The Middle Of All Of It

Troublesome Thoughts and Things

July 29, 2018

Somethings been bothering me of late, or rather, someone. A co-worker of mine has been troubling me for far, far too long. They used to be a decent person, but now I don't see them as anything more than just someone I know...and it's been anything but a pleasure. The trouble is, every time I talk to this arrogant, vile human being they have to say something condescending to me. It's getting to the point where it keeps my mind running...sometimes at night. I think of all the scenarios one could muster on how to tell them how I feel. How I want to tell them to "Go F*** themselves" and the various ways of saying it. I think about how I want to tell them "they're a worthless, condescending piece of crap and the only reason I tolerate their condescending comments is because I know how insecure they are about how their family thinks their a worthless piece of crap. They're an arrogant, lazy prick who is self-conscious about their family hating them." This person angers me a lot. I'm tired of thinking about them and the hate I feel for them. I can tell by their personality that they're not going to stop...I'm not sure they'll stop even if I tell them to F*** off. It's getting to the point now where I can't stand the very sound of their voice. I feel like this anger is taking up my time. It's now an interruption in my daily life and it needs to stop. I'm not sure telling them will do anything as they are, after all, a sociopath. The trouble is, it's troubling to think about. In lieu of this, I try to separate myself from them as much as possible, but at times it's hard as we work together. To say I despise this person is an understatement. I don't want to live my life hating, it's simply too exhausting, but the more I try to ignore them the harder it gets to say something to make them stop. I think I have to find the courage to try. Life cannot continue like this, it's simply not living. Hating is not living.
sigh

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