In The Middle Of All Of It

October 31, 2018

I'm finally out. I'm out of the fray that was the toxin, or, more commonly known as, my last job. It's easier to be happy now. I must state this was just as much a conscious choice as it was a necessary one. I chose to be happy and it was something I had to seek out for myself. I didn't realize how toxic my last job was until I started this new one; working remote is a lot better than what I thought as well. I really love working remote as it gives me a lot of freedom, but at the same time I still really like what I do and work hard at it. I hope that whomever reads these posts understands that, as an admirer of mine, Gary Vaynerchuk, so aptly put, "Happiness is the ROI" and I firmly agree with that statement. You have to choose to be happy, it takes work...a lot of work, but in the end it's absolutely beautiful.

Cheers!


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August 01, 2018

There's been a lot, more than any healthy amount, of scoffing lately; it's been too much and it keeps my mind racing. I've had enough of this childish sneering and it's past the time to set a healthy boundary. Someone recently stepped over the line and lost a lot of my respect. Tomorrow, I have to let them know I'm not going to tolerate it anymore. They got in the way of my happiness and I'm never going to let them do it again.
On a lighter note, I've come across a story that really hit home with me. It's a Tale of Two Wolves as told by a Cherokee Indian to his grandson about the internal battles we all face. It came to me at a time where I'm feeling very impatient and a little angry with the current state of all the scoffing. As mentioned before, I absolutely must set a healthy boundary and tell them enough is enough. The story goes as follows:

The Parable: The Tale of Two Wolves

An old Cherokee is teaching ...
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July 29, 2018

Somethings been bothering me of late, or rather, someone. A co-worker of mine has been troubling me for far, far too long. They used to be a decent person, but now I don't see them as anything more than just someone I know...and it's been anything but a pleasure. The trouble is, every time I talk to this arrogant, vile human being they have to say something condescending to me. It's getting to the point where it keeps my mind running...sometimes at night. I think of all the scenarios one could muster on how to tell them how I feel. How I want to tell them to "Go F*** themselves" and the various ways of saying it. I think about how I want to tell them "they're a worthless, condescending piece of crap and the only reason I tolerate their condescending comments is because I know how insecure they are about how their family thinks their a worthless piece of crap. They're an arrogant, lazy prick who is self-conscious about their fami...
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May 06, 2018

I recently broke up with someone. I feel, in the long run, it's for the best. I went for a walk today and really started to miss them. I went to Balboa Park and walked around for Cinco de Mayo. I walked down the center of the park to Panama 66, I went around the fountain and over to the rose garden. There's a nice spot near the rose garden, just over the walkway to where the Cactus's and desert-like area is displayed; I stopped here to write.

Perhaps we’ll run into each other by chance; perhaps it’ll be the spark we needed, the jolt to the life we craved. Perhaps we’ll see each other among the roses and speak the way lovers should; conversations that keep us up all night with a substance that too few know. In justifying why I left, I find it hard to summon the thoughts. Maybe the reason simply wasn’t good enough, though I convinced myself, it was so.


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April 30, 2018

I've always wondered how one gets stuck. Whether it be by another's doing or their own. In most cases, I feel it is the fault of their own, but sometimes it can be by another's hand. Currently, I'm stuck. It is my own fault or, better yet, the fault of my heart.

I've been hit by a truck, tore my ACL, got a minor concussion, been punched in the temple, sprained both wrists and ankles, and on a separate occasion, broke my ankle. From all of these events, I've gotten back up moments after and began to walk around...but! But, when it comes to matters of the heart, falling in love and getting your heart broken, that's the stuff that brings me to my knees, that's the stuff that leaves me broken, that's the one thing that leaves me crippled. I carry some scares with me; some you can see, but those that you can't leave the biggest mark...
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April 01, 2018

I've been fiddling with a thought that may soon pass. Such as the broken heart of a recently separated couple, this thought may fade with time and only time can heal this soon to be broken thought. On one hand, there is a low-risk; high-reward, but then there is a high-risk, low-reward scenario. In this situation, I'm beginning to think people tend to make up their own problems; such as I have with my current one. Then again, "Fortune sides with him who dares".

I recently came across a quote which really helped shape my frame of mind. This quote also helped me understand what I'm going through. I've realized that I can learn a lot about something with very little intel. The quote: “It’s hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but it’s harder to give up when you know it’s everything you want.” The author, unfortunately, is unknown at this time.

What is life without a broken heart? To know one once ...
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December 31, 2017

What seems like a lifetime ago, a young man, full of hope and wonder, sat in a classroom aspiring to be a professional photographer. The dream of tomorrow was slowly forming, but the party life was also calling. On the weekends, we would drink. On some weekdays, we would drink, and whenever the occasion seemed right, we would drink. This next piece summarizes that life. It's funny to think that I once existed as this person. Growth, however, is a huge part of my life. It's with great pleasure that I can say, I'm not the same person I was last year, let alone, 8 years ago during my college years. A lot has happened in my life and even more is going to happen. Seneca once said, "The greater part of progress is the desire to progress". I interpret this as, you have to want to change, in order to change. Throughout these years, I've changed a ton. Without further ado, here is College Years:

Hours before...
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November 26, 2017

I saw a movie a few years ago that really helped shape the way I pursue my goals. The person this letter is to isn't the most inspirational person in my life. However, I do have to give credit to them in helping me get my feet off the ground and pursuing my, then, goals. Without further ado, the letter.

Alas! In the sum of this world I've come down to one of a few treasures. One of which stands before me underneath the infinite light. To sum up the words spent in this note; I want to thank you for being you. To elicit the emotions running through my mind, I thought it best to write them. Mostly, it's the fault of time that shortens our encounter, but in the same notion it has also brought us here. So, you stand before me, the accolade of my life. And just as simply, no words could find me. Thus you receive a letter. Though my speech has been deterred, the blank pages of this world found such verbiage, thus I present them to you:

Inspirati...
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November 26, 2017

A few years ago, when I was traveling about the country, I wrote this as sort of a memoir. I was traveling through the desert between two small towns in the middle of Arizona; around a small town known as Prescott. The desert is so vast and yet full of life and I very much enjoyed traveling through nothing, but at the same time everything. And so, that is what gave birth to this poem.

The night offers me a cool breeze while the moonlight spotlights the winding trees. The scene serenades my mind to ease. I've always enjoyed the pleasures of the night. The fainting lights and neon glows highlight my every imperfection, while, in all of one moment, silhouettes passerby's and anyone within the bounds of my periphery. Not in the desert though. Light hardly yields a shadow, unless the moon is out. It's beauty just the same as any cityscape, from a photographers point of view. It's quaint landscapes grown dry with small trees and cacti sparsely place...
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November 26, 2017

For as long as I can remember, I've loved the sea. I love everything about it; the mystery, the movement, the steadiness, the things we don't even know are there. I once read, It is the dim haze of mystery that adds enchantment to pursuit, and that reminds me of the sea. One day soon, I'll be sailing on the pacific and I can't wait to experience it. The sea mostly impresses me because there is nothing else like it and nothing nearly as powerful or beautiful. Thus, I've written a little something about how I feel:

Of all my days that were, I look back into my past and see what was and all that will never be. Left things behind to remember me and preserve our days of yore. For eternity doesn't seem so long when I'm with you. So pull the lever, hoist the sail and swing downwind, for my heart you carry and I long for your embrace. Hold steady the tide, and the seas be calm; for the stern faces west where the sun sets before yo...
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